Freddy and the Blowfish 2: Fairweather Johnson
by PelicanSlut66642069
Summary: The sequel to the critically mediocre "Freddy and the Blowfish." What happens when a new animatronic comes to town, and when characters and plot is ripped off from other stories? Find out now by reading Freddy and the Blowfish 2: Fairweather Johnson
1. Chapter 1

The day started out like any other day in Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria. Kids playing and enjoying licking up the ooze that secretes from the animatronics so the janitors don't have to clean up, how considerate. A man with a rather large box brings it to the show stage and opens it, a new animatronic has arrived.

As the restaurant closes for the day, the animatronics sit at a table and talk about the new guy.

"What are the managers thinking?" Bonnie says, "five is a bit too much as it is"

"Six, if you count Golden Freddy" Chica adds, the group stares at Golden Freddy in the corner, whittling and whistling Lynyrd Skynyrd out of tune.

"He...he looks so goddamn cool, and edgy, and mysterious, I don't know if I can deal with it, what if the kids start liking him more than us?" Freddy is sweating profusely at the thought of being overthrown

"What kind of animal is he even?" Bonnie asks

"Pretty sure he's one of those land iguanas I keep hearing about" Foxy says, having now acquired a voice box that makes him sound like a Samoan Used Car Salesman.

"Land Iguana?" Freddy looks puzzled "All iguanas are land iguanas kiddo, I would know, I recently got my PhD in Marine Biology" Dr. Fazbear reaches into his pocket for the degree

The animatronics clap, proud of his accomplishment

Meanwhile...in the security booth, Mike is playing Super Binding of Isaac Boy: Turbo Edition, the phone rings and the phone guy informs Mike of the new animatronic.

"You may have noticed the new animatronic perched on the stage, he'll be a permanent member of the Fazbear animatronic family, his name is Shadow the Hedgehog"


	2. Chapter 2

The next day begins, Shadows first day operating and interacting with the other animatronics. He only repeats one phrase

"I am Shadow Android. The ultimate battle life form created by Eggman"

All the kids love him and circle around him like a ritual effigy, paying no attention to the others.

"Dude what the fuck, he's stealing our gig" Bonnie says angrily

"Yeah but isn't he so dreamy dude c'mon" Chica is falling for the Shadow fever

"I mean, his solemn voice, stoic demeanor, and poorly written backstory make him just oh so dreamy" Foxy joins in with Chica on gushing over the Angsty goodness that is Shadow

"Yeah but I'm the namesake of this restaurant, I should be getting the spotlight!" Dr. Fazbear is extremely jealous

As night arrives, even Mike has fallen ill to the Shadow Fever, not even looking at the cameras and just playing with Shadow like a goddamn action figure.

"Say it again, say it again!" Mike giddy with anticipation

"I am Shadow Android. The ultimate battle life form created by Eggman"

"Oh you're so cool Shadow, you're my favorite ultimate life form" Mike hugs the emotionless robot

As the weeks go by, Dr. Fazbear notices the restaurant overall theme and decor change, becoming more akin to that black hedgehog as Randy Newman's music plays in the background, Dr. Fazbear, along with the other animatronics are shelved into the backstage.


	3. Chapter 3

As the days go by, the animatronics aren't allowed to leave the backstage area, and are visibly dead on the inside.

"I even got this voicebox for the kids, man, now I'm being shelved like Wheezy from Toy Story!" Foxy doesn't want his voicebox to sound like he's a chain smoker for 20 years.

"I guess, all good things must come to an end, man" Chica says

Meanwhile, in the arcade room of the restaurant, kids are still swarming around Shadow Android, and one man enters the facility, he walks toward the animatronic, with a bit of disgust, and jealousy.

"Who might you be?" Shadow Android says in a calm, collected, and suave manner, the kids cheer for him.

"Me?" The mysterious man says, chuckling at the thought someone doesn't know his infamous name, actually, no one in the building knows his name, good job there champ.

"I'm Sasuke Uchiha from the hit PBS kids sprout show "Naruto", the kids boo him because they hate white looking people in asian media.

"There can only be one cool, edgy, morally complex and sophisticated character in this universe" Sasuke claims

"Yeah so fuck off I'm a hedgehog you're just a loser" Shadow says and turns and walks away, he won this battle, but he hasn't won the war, Sasuke leaves the premises.

The next morning, Dr. Fazbear wakes up, noticeably fatter because of the lack of activity, and a pretty weak stubble, grabs a cup of coffee and goes on the computer, and researches Shadow Android and where he came from. He discovers something quite saucy

"Goodness Gracious!" Dr. Fazbear exclaimed

"So he's been lying the whole time" Dr. Fazbear prints out the wikipedia article and runs to the other animatronics and Shadow Android, during hours, so kids are still chilling about.

"Hey all you people!" Dr. Fazbear shouts "Look! Shadow Android isn't an animatronic, he's just a regular old lame hedgehog!"

Everyone stares at Shadow, there is nothing but silence, but then everyone immediately bursts into hysterics, pointing at the fake hedgehog, Shadow is visibly upset

"Faker? I think you're all the fake hedgehog around here!" Shadow runs out of the restaurant, Dr. Fazbear and the gang have won, and Dr. Fazbear regains his throne as being the mascot of the restaurant.

Sasuke returns for a rematch with the hedgehog, only to notice he isn't there anymore.


	4. Chapter 4

Shadow in his apartment, having most of his valuable accessories repossessed. Shadow goes to the bathroom to look at himself in the mirror, and combs his hair to get that old Justin Bieber, Drake Bell, Tobey Maguire in Spider-Man 3 look, and heads out the door.

Shadow is strolling down the streets, twirling, and dancing as if he got fucking laid, all the people scream and run away because he's a freak of nature, I mean, would you be scared if a giant hedgehog that knew how to dance walked down the street?

"Why are people running away from? I'm the ultimate life-form?" He asks himself

He enters a club, the bouncer asks for ID, Shadow turns out to be 50 years old because of all that weird space colony ARK backstory from Sonic Adventure 2 and Shadow the Hedgehog, Shadow pours one out for the dead Maria.

"Maria" Shadow says

As Shadow enters the club, he dances on one of the platforms, but just like outside, no one wants to see some freak dance, he is kicked out of the club, and heads to the church belltower, the place where all the kids going through their emo phase go.

"Who am I? And why can't I remember anything?" Shadow asks himself, wondering where did everything go wrong.

Shadow punches the church bell and makes all the other emo kids deaf, good job there kiddo, but as he is punching the bell, the black coloring of his fur is turning blue, it turns out he was Sonic the hedgehog all along, just covered in oil from the BP oil spill, that's why he can't remember anything! It all makes sense! Oh SEGA you!

The oil spills to the bottom of the church where Sasuke is praying for his lord and savior Topher Grace to kill Shadow the hedgehog.

"Please Mr. Grace, I love That 70's Show and Shadow is jocking my style, being all angsty and conflicted and shit, make him die and or fuck off"

The oil from Shadow, or should I say Sonic falls on top of Sasuke's head and he transforms into…..nothing, he's still Sasuke, but he's pissed as fuck now.


	5. Chapter 5

Sonic returns to Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria and thanks the animatronics.

"I found my true self because of you guys, I thank you for that" Sonic says

"Fuck off kid you're ugly" Dr. Fazbear tells him, he wants nothing to do with Shadow or Sonic or whoever the fuck he is.

Sonic sadly leaves, but in the parking lot, he meets Sasuke, still covered in the oil, pretty sure he doesn't shower

"You again!" Sonic says

"Yeah me look what you did to me you flaming cunt" Sasuke seems pretty peeved

"You gone get your comuppits now Sonic!" Sasuke runs toward Sonic with his trusty sword carefully cooked at 79 degrees Celsius so it would be hot, but Dr. Fazbear stops Sasuke.

"Stop right there you fucking nark! You can't kill anyone in this universe, it's against the rules" Dr. Fazbear pulls out a book of rules

"See" he points to some words in the book "Chapter 4, Article 3 Section 27 subsection H"

"Oh dude really? Fuck I didn't know I just got here" Sasuke is sincerely apologizing, but Foxy bites off his frontal lobe, Sasuke begins twitching and convulsing on the ground.

"Well I guess he's the one that got his comuppits" Bonnie says, as the whole group laugh, except for Foxy, he's still chewing on the flesh he bit off, the camera pans out and stops after awhile, the credits begin to roll and cheap 80's sitcom music plays.


End file.
